My favorite sister made me laugh by sending me entire box of breast-cancer-fighting chocolate covered strawberries before another goddamned biopsy.
- When husband asks you whether the dishwasher is clean or dirty, start crying.
- Color in pictures in your journal with markers even though the colors bleed through to other side. Hum.
- Eat corn chips right out of the cupboard.
- get mad at your kids for no reason, then say, “You’ll be sorry when I’m in my BOX” until they roll their eyes.
- Call the doctor and cry and beg for some extra pain meds. Because you’re scared.
- Google every horrible article you can find that shows pictures of the procedure.
- Eat more corn chips straight out of the cupboard.
- Do your work. Forget it. Do five minutes. Stop. Try again. Stop.
- Pick up the book for your next reading group. Realize that it’s “The End of Your Life Bookclub.” Do not really want to read a book about a mother and son who are reading books while she’s dying of cancer and getting chemo at Sloan-Kettering. Put it down.
- Watch part of movie about Brad Pitt playing Liberace’s boyfriend. Stop when I begin to realize that a. I am never going to fulfill my dream of being Liberace’s boyfriend; and b. Being Liberace’s boyfriend isn’t All That anyway. I want to scream at the screen: “Run, Liberace’s boyfriend! You know about those famous people! They’ll eat you up like a chicken leg, suck out the marrow, and toss you aside!” I mean, I have watched enough biopics to learn a FEW lessons about life.
- Make a to do list. Actually more of a wishlist. Wouldn’t it be nice if I actually did do any of those things.
- Sort socks. Have 25 percent success rate.
- Write blog posts I may never use.
- Look at dishes in kitchen sink. They look perfectly content. Do nothing about them.
- Read productivity tips so I can think of even more things I’m not currently doing. Like Vlogging. Why have I forgotten to Vlog? Go into shame spiral.
- Try to understand Evernote. Cannot figure out how to get notes into the proper notebooks.
- Think about making bed. It’s supposed to be a very good habit.
- Think about how it will take “at least a week” to get results. Feel mad.
- Look at clock. How many more hours till it starts? How long till its over?
- Write in my journal 10 things I feel grateful about. And feel happy that they’re all about people I love.
Writing Prompt: How do you cope when you’re waiting for an unpleasant or scary medical procedure? Any tips for other people?