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This is how you clean your art room with a little help from Einstein, part 72

4 Mar This masterpiece, which I will call Energy Turning Into Matter Relativity shows that I have a robust collection of functional markers. by Alexandra Hanson-Harding.
This masterpiece, which I will call Energy Turning Into Matter Relativity shows that I have a robust collection of functional markers. by Alexandra Hanson-Harding.

This masterpiece, which I will call Energy Turning Into Matter Relativity shows that I have a robust collection of functional markers. by Alexandra Hanson-Harding.

One thing that’s really really urgent when cleaning your art room is figuring out if every single one of your eight kajillion felt tipped markers is fully functional. There is no better way of testing them than by making a completely necessary two page spread of doodles in one of your art notebooks, I have found. The result can be found above. I still don’t know exactly how to organize the eight kajillion pens systematically. But I did find at least 12 that didn’t work, so I can THROW THEM AWAY. And I bundled some of them up with rubber bands before I got bored. I also watched a YouTube video about Albert Einstein.  There was the usual working in Swiss patent office/crappy husbandage/annus miraculus 1905 4 papers/ mentorage by Max Planck/proving theory of general relativity/famous/sciency sciency this and that, but I also learned  how he liked to greet ladies in a magical bathrobe. During their visit, the bathrobe would mysteriously open up, revealing Little Einstein. Who can say that gaining that piece of knowledge is not time well spent?

 

Writing Prompt: What incredibly efficient thing did you do today?

135Journals Art Corner, Pinterest Fail Edition. The World’s Worst Crayon Candle

26 Jan Crayon Candle of Shame by Alexandra Hanson-Harding
Crayon Candle done right, by Rachel at the Evermine Blog

Crayon Candle done right, by Rachel at the Evermine Blog (evermine.com).

Okay. So I have this box of crayons from the dollar store that are so bad that they’re like little tubes of colorless yet probably highly toxic wax. So I think to myself, what would Pinterestistas do with such an item? Toss them out? Oh, nay nay. A true Pinterestista would Upcycle them into something else. She probably doesn’t even buy glasses–she melts down old bottles and puts them into the Mason Jar mold she sculpted out of an old pallet with the help of a little Mod Podge. (Don’t ask me how this would work). I just know that if I keep reading Pinterest, I probably will be serving every meal out of a Mason Jar, while lounging on the Pallet Couch that I just Chevron striped with a Sharpie.

Anyway, for some reason, I am COMPELLED to look up crayon candles on Pinterest. And. . . they looked kind of nice. Like this one, by the very talented blogger Rachel at Evermine.com  (https://www.evermine.com/blog/diy-crayon-candles/), who gives helpful instructions and a list of materials, and came out with a lovely, professional result.

But . . . I didn’t exactly follow instructions. Nor did I have half of the ingredients. I didn’t have paper cups. I didn’t have popsicle sticks. I didn’t have wax. I didn;t have wicks. What I did have was a used jam jar, a couple of half-burned candles, and those infernal crayons. So I peeled the crayons and stuck them in the microwave. Rachel said to microwave wax ffor a minute and then use 30 second intervals. Since I didn’t have any wax, I just stuck a regular ceramic cup with some green crayons in the microwave for a minute, then 30 second intervals. They did not melt until I added some water. Then, I poured the first layer into the jar and stuck my candle in. It did stick, but it left streaks of green all down the side of the jar. I tried that for the first color, green. Then, I went for blue. By this time, I had learned a very important lesson. That is, it is boring to keep pushing the button on the microwave every 30 seconds. So, I decided it would work much better if I just put it on for three minutes and let myself drool over other Pinterest pages while I waited. This strategy did not turn out to be as efficient as I hoped. I heard a “Plop” noise from the microwave followed by a “splat” sound. I rushed to the microwave, opened up, and there was a crayoncano. The entire inside of the microwave was spattered with blue wax. Hastily, I poured in the contents of the wet, disgusting waxy blue cup–which was also coated with wax at this point. Oh, and I spilled some on the table and floor, too.  So then I spent the next hour picking off little specks of wax with my fingernails and using some language that wasn’t exactly family friendly to express my feelings about peeling wax. I knew that my husband would find out if I had made another Pinterest mess, and it would be one of those Lucy and Ricky situations that I realllllly didn’t want to have. So I picked and swore, picked and swore until I got the place absolutely immaculate. Two hours later, the husband came back to the Casa HH, and the first thing he said was, “Somebody’s been doing SOMETHING with wax today.” Damn, why did I marry Sherlock Holmes? He’s like a forensic craftologist, always able to sniff out that one stray bit of paint that I missed, or tiny blob of glue still stuck to the top of the kitchen faucet.

Crayon Candle of Shame by Alexandra Hanson-Harding

Crayon Candle of Shame by Alexandra Hanson-Harding

I guess one lesson of the day I learned is that looking at a picture of an enticing handmade object is not the same thing as actually reading and following the instructions about how to make it. The other lesson is that I still don’t know what to Upcycle those damn crayons into. But it’s going to be something good. And I also learned that if you want to make crayon candles, don’t ask me. Go visit Rachel at Evermine:  https://www.evermine.com/blog/diy-crayon-candles/ because she is the real deal.

Crayon Candle Fail

Top view of Crayon Candle of Shame.

Writing Prompt: Did you ever not follow instructions? What happened?

about how to

135journals Art Corner: Journal Sketch of woman on Iphone at Apple Store

20 Jan
Woman talking on Iphone at Apple Store, now in the journal of Alexandra Hanson-Harding

Woman talking on Iphone at Apple Store, now in the journal of Alexandra Hanson-Harding

What in the world could possibly be better than spying on people who are doing whatever it is they do in public? A lot of what they do, fortunately, is talk on their phones. Unfortunately, 99 out of conversations on cell phones are tedious, and I should know, because I eavesdrop all. the. time. Luckily, they are also very distracted by their conversations, and I can capture their looks while ignoring the tediousity (word TM by me) of their one-sided chitchat. I liked the looks of this young lady. She was so pretty. Drawing her kept me content while I waited for a Genius to visit me (Oh how often I wait for genius to visit me.) I was so glad I had my journal to keep me company, since my computer wasn’t doing me any good at that moment.

Writing Prompt: Next time you hear a cell phone conversation in public, try writing it down. Then tell me if I’m right about how b-o-r-i-n-g people are on their cells.