135Journals Art Corner, Pinterest Fail Edition. The World’s Worst Crayon Candle

26 Jan
Crayon Candle done right, by Rachel at the Evermine Blog

Crayon Candle done right, by Rachel at the Evermine Blog (evermine.com).

Okay. So I have this box of crayons from the dollar store that are so bad that they’re like little tubes of colorless yet probably highly toxic wax. So I think to myself, what would Pinterestistas do with such an item? Toss them out? Oh, nay nay. A true Pinterestista would Upcycle them into something else. She probably doesn’t even buy glasses–she melts down old bottles and puts them into the Mason Jar mold she sculpted out of an old pallet with the help of a little Mod Podge. (Don’t ask me how this would work). I just know that if I keep reading Pinterest, I probably will be serving every meal out of a Mason Jar, while lounging on the Pallet Couch that I just Chevron striped with a Sharpie.

Anyway, for some reason, I am COMPELLED to look up crayon candles on Pinterest. And. . . they looked kind of nice. Like this one, by the very talented blogger Rachel at Evermine.com  (https://www.evermine.com/blog/diy-crayon-candles/), who gives helpful instructions and a list of materials, and came out with a lovely, professional result.

But . . . I didn’t exactly follow instructions. Nor did I have half of the ingredients. I didn’t have paper cups. I didn’t have popsicle sticks. I didn’t have wax. I didn;t have wicks. What I did have was a used jam jar, a couple of half-burned candles, and those infernal crayons. So I peeled the crayons and stuck them in the microwave. Rachel said to microwave wax ffor a minute and then use 30 second intervals. Since I didn’t have any wax, I just stuck a regular ceramic cup with some green crayons in the microwave for a minute, then 30 second intervals. They did not melt until I added some water. Then, I poured the first layer into the jar and stuck my candle in. It did stick, but it left streaks of green all down the side of the jar. I tried that for the first color, green. Then, I went for blue. By this time, I had learned a very important lesson. That is, it is boring to keep pushing the button on the microwave every 30 seconds. So, I decided it would work much better if I just put it on for three minutes and let myself drool over other Pinterest pages while I waited. This strategy did not turn out to be as efficient as I hoped. I heard a “Plop” noise from the microwave followed by a “splat” sound. I rushed to the microwave, opened up, and there was a crayoncano. The entire inside of the microwave was spattered with blue wax. Hastily, I poured in the contents of the wet, disgusting waxy blue cup–which was also coated with wax at this point. Oh, and I spilled some on the table and floor, too.  So then I spent the next hour picking off little specks of wax with my fingernails and using some language that wasn’t exactly family friendly to express my feelings about peeling wax. I knew that my husband would find out if I had made another Pinterest mess, and it would be one of those Lucy and Ricky situations that I realllllly didn’t want to have. So I picked and swore, picked and swore until I got the place absolutely immaculate. Two hours later, the husband came back to the Casa HH, and the first thing he said was, “Somebody’s been doing SOMETHING with wax today.” Damn, why did I marry Sherlock Holmes? He’s like a forensic craftologist, always able to sniff out that one stray bit of paint that I missed, or tiny blob of glue still stuck to the top of the kitchen faucet.

Crayon Candle of Shame by Alexandra Hanson-Harding

Crayon Candle of Shame by Alexandra Hanson-Harding

I guess one lesson of the day I learned is that looking at a picture of an enticing handmade object is not the same thing as actually reading and following the instructions about how to make it. The other lesson is that I still don’t know what to Upcycle those damn crayons into. But it’s going to be something good. And I also learned that if you want to make crayon candles, don’t ask me. Go visit Rachel at Evermine:  https://www.evermine.com/blog/diy-crayon-candles/ because she is the real deal.

Crayon Candle Fail

Top view of Crayon Candle of Shame.

Writing Prompt: Did you ever not follow instructions? What happened?

about how to

2 Responses to “135Journals Art Corner, Pinterest Fail Edition. The World’s Worst Crayon Candle”

  1. Joan January 26, 2015 at 9:00 pm #

    Yup. Last night. Wanted to use up all the open jars of Fig Preserves that people have given us over the last however many Xmases. (Why do people open Fig Preserves if there are already three open jars in the fridge – they didn’t search – obvi! – and they don’t really like them?) So I read half a dozen Fig Newton recipes on my iPad and since none of them seemed quite right… I wung it? Winged it? To be fair to myself, none of these recipes would have yielded the “I can’t believe they aren’t right out of the box” reaction I was hoping for. None of them called for near enough figs – I doubled the amount to use everything up and it still wasn’t enough. They came out tasting like fruit-flavored biscuits. Good – but not Fig Newtons. [Oh, yeah. I am typing this while reclining on the world’s most disappointing couch – remember that? – which was assembled without reference to the instructions] But Alexandra – didn’t we make sand candles in the house on Summer Street? Of course one really does need to invest in paraffin and wicks – but it is still quite dangerous, even so.

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