Ten Sizzling Facts YOU need to know from February’s Glamour Mag.

29 May

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 As Glamour Magazine informs us, a little of this goes a long way. (Wikimedia Commons)

Thank god for doctors’ waiting rooms. They are still the true believers, the ones who think that people read magazines. And trust me, darling, we DO. Oh, we do. How else would we know how to order our silly little lives if not for doctor visits and the vital reading material they provide. Here are ten tips I learned yesterday, just from ONE of these fine purveyors of all that is useful in this world.

 

  1. If you want to get promoted, do not and I mean DO NOT, twirl your hair. And don’t be biting those nails, either.
  2. The possibilities of plaid are endless, according to a 26-year-old waitress. [And a few million crazed Scots]
  3. Bethenny Frankel says you need a personal mitten statement. Wait, that can’t be right. I must have the worst handwriting in the world. She says you need a personal MISSION statement. Here’s hers, just so you don’t steal it: “You are destined for something special. But no one can do it for you and no one can save you. You have to do it yourself.”
  4. One way you know a dude is going to be a dud in the sack is, and I quote, “Too. Much. Tongue.”
  5. The secret to Emma Watson’s plump and dewy skin and slightly crazed energy level: coconut water.
  6. One article says that the power red lip is back. Another article says guys hate red lipstick because it gets on their teeth.
  7. 31 percent of men do that thing Onan did in the Bible in the office. Another 24 percent do that thing in the car. Sigh, whatever happened to driving and texting being the most dangerous thing, like, ever?
  8. You know when you go out with a guy and you’re dressed up with oversized bows, a side pony, your favorite fanny pack, bright blue eyeshadow, and your new fake boobs? Guys don’t like that.
  9. You know what guys think when you’re talking about clothes and hair? Getting back to their cars and offices and dreaming about . . . anything else but clothes or hair.
  10. 74 percent of men would rather be bald than have Donald Trump’s hair.

 

Writing Prompt: What ten tips would you like to share?

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