Part 2: The Saddest Stuff from Craigslist

2 Apr

And today we explore some more questionable items as well as photographic technique, starting with an artistic masterpiece . . .

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1. I guess SOMEBODY took a trip to Italy and became a sophisticated art connoisseur. Seriously, you have David longingly reaching out to touch . .. an urn and a Corinthian Column? Why? I mean, the urn I kind of understand, who knows, maybe it’s full of wine or it’s a pot of gold  (though he certainly isn’t exerting himself much in that pose to get it). Or hey, maybe there’s a pair of those Mankinis that the Europeans love to disport themselves in in there! He could use SOMETHING to cover up his li’l cocktail frank. But the Corinthian column? No. Just no. There is nothing Corinthian columns do that you want, except REMAIN. I wouldn’t buy that painting unless the artist replaced it with a pizza. Alternately, you could put God back in, just like the original. I understand that a lot of people thought THAT painting was pretty good.

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2. Peekaboo! I see you! Nice rug/fancy mirror, table, etc. But Tthere’s this funny thing about mirrors. They reflect the objects in them. All I can say is, nice white sock/world’s longest “shorts,” combo, dude. Does grandma not let you walk on the carpet without taking your shoes off?

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3. Another hint from the ghost of Dorothea Lange. If you take a flash picture RIGHT INTO A MIRROR, you’re going to see a lot more of the shining white light than you are of whatever the heck that wall hanging/hook rack is. Also, why is there a coat rack that says Bon Appetit anyway? Do most people hang up their coats in their kitchens at home? Or do you put it in the entrance of your home and let everyone know that once you enter, you’re going to be stuffed like a truffle goose? One thing we know is that if you DON’T want to see what it look like, just stand right in front of it with your camera, turn on the flash, and SNAP.

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4. One shopping cart. Gently used. So gently used that it was thrown into the garage. Because frankly, nobody wanted to use it, gently or not. Just a little reminder that if you spend $25 getting this forlorn item, you’ll probably end up tossing it into the garage next to boxes and old crates, too. Until YOU put it on Craigslist.

 

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5. One tray, barely used. Not even used. In the original bubble wrap. All wrapped up. So wrapped up that you can’t even get a sense of what it actually looks like. For all you know, it is so abhorrent that the owners didn’t even want to actually touch it. But hey, you know one thing. That sucker is IN THE ORIGINAL BUBBLE WRAP.

Writing Prompt: What do you want to get rid of?

 

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2 Responses to “Part 2: The Saddest Stuff from Craigslist”

  1. maryhookerlmc April 3, 2014 at 10:54 pm #

    THat was LOL funny. I want the shopping cart.

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