Can I Take My Bra Off on the Bus? And Other Truly Amazing Questions from Yahoo Answers, part 2

6 Feb

Image

The Happy Festivus Kipah. More headgear that is guaranteed to offend absolutely no one. ( DRosenbach at en.wikipedia [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)

The Sage of the Garden State answers shares her rabbinic and other wisdom from actual questions from Yahoo Answers.

1. Is this hat Offensive:?

Q: Cozy Kinsley asked

I have this hat that’s neon yellow says #PartywithJews  Is that offensive to wear to a party with a lot of Jewish people?

A:  According to Rabbi Akiva, the chief of all the sages, (“Rosh la-Chachamim”) (.the Mishnah encourages the wearing of the “#Parties with Jews” headgear as long as you are a Samaritan, because in his interpretation of the Halacha, Jews are permitted to break bread with Samaritans. You ARE a Samaritan, I assume.
 –2. Question: What is the best way to get a jewish teen girl to like you? Max asked
I want a jewish girlfriend in high school because I’m jewish, a tiny bit hucky and average looks

2. As the great Rabbinic Scholar Maimonides would say, “Between a goat and an ass is less than a cubit of huckiness.” Scholars are divided on the use of Axe products in the acquisition of girlfriends, Jewish or otherwise. But current thinking is clearly thumbs up on the “#Parties with Jews” hat. P.S. This hat could not be called a “Yarmulke” by any chance, could it?

 
3. How do you explain 100% of Athiests don’t believe in God? Isn’t that suspicious?

 †Archangel TJ
Very few things in life are 100% in fact according to quantum physics things are probabilities. But yet we see 100% of Athiests don’t believe in God, doesn’t that sound fishy?

A: 100 percent of people who say they believe in something believe in it? That does sound fishy, now that I think of it.

4.  Am I allowed to take my bra off on the bus?  Chrease Yough asked

Im wondering because I have to take the bus to and from work and usually after work my bra feels really uncomfortable and tight and a lot of people already stare at me cause Im always touching my boobs and my bra and putting my hands in my shirt trying to adjust the way it feels so I can make it feel better and its not easy so its hard to keep still at the same time so it looks like Im squirming around in my seat a lot while doing this. I just feel like that if I could just take it off (Like maybe pull it off and out of my shirt) and then maybe not as many people would stare at me so much too either.
I dont know if I am allowed to do this on the bus or not though? Like I dont wanna get kicked off the bus or anything but I just cant keep riding on the bus like this anymore.

A: Taking your bra off and pulling it out of your shirt on the bus? What are you, Houdini? I salute you, Madame. Like, do you have shoulders? And arms? BTW, I can’t imagine who could possibly have a problem with that and it sounds 100 percent inconspicuous. By the way, did you know that Maidenform now sells a sandpaper-and-thumbtack free brassiere? You might want to check into that.

5. QUESTION: Everyone laughs at me for having manikins in my car? Superman asked I was being harassed. So I got some black manikins and put one in the passenger seat and three in the back. Put hats and glasses on them

Drove around with loud rap music making it look like i got a car full of boys. And it works those guys stopped harassing me and even ran from me

My family thinks im crazy, two cops who pulled me over were holding their stomachs laughing.
Whats the big deal??

Answer: It’s probably the “#Parties with Jews” hats. Seriously, I applaud you for finding  a way of dealing with your harassment issues that doesn’t involve you somehow maneuvering your bra off in traffic. Martin Luther King Jr. is probably smiling down from heaven admiring your completely unracist solution to your problem.
 

6. I just thought that all men are horse?

Love Love Love

Answer: Neigh.

7. How do i join a secret society ?

Anthonysillmanjr

In trying to find a group that agrees with me and take care of my future families thankyou

Answer: Oooh, oooh, I do know a group that agrees with you and wants to take care of your future family. It’s called . . . sorry, it’s a secret.

Writing Prompt: Am I wrong? Are all men horse?
 

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