April 2013 Statistics

1 May

Times I locked a bathroom key into the bathroom after I left: 2

Fact I learned from a physical therapist: “You should be able to watch the movie Titanic without going to the bathroom once.”

Reason Why This Cannot be True: Titanic is wettest movie ever.

Items lost: black scarf. Black and grey jacket. Mr. HH’s library book “Composting” that I promised I’d return. The piece of paper I have to bring to the doctor tomorrow. CD #3 of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (library’s copy). Three credit cards. The book Mindsight by Daniel Siegelman (also, from library). Pride.

Number of onions found under car seat while looking for these items: 5

Major crime: Nutella heist in Germany. (Cannot reveal details of how I pulled this off.)

Podcasts listened to at least two times of Brainsciencepodcast.com: 15

Percent I understood: 75%. Well, definitely got it in the Broca and Wernicke regions, not sure that my anterior cingulate gyrus or frontal lobes got the full message.

Steps walked: 313,683

Times I made child roll his eyes because I said, “Honey, do you want a snack?”: 25

Times I pissed off child because I said he would like Game of Thrones because it had Dragons: Once. Because he’s not 13.

New favorite word, courtesy of Game of Thrones: Sexposition: when you have to have other people come into the room while m’lord is busy with a wench to explain the enemy is at the gate just to keep the plot moving forward.

Times I pissed off child because I suggested he clean up his room: 17.

Times room got cleaned: 0

Maximum number of damp towels found in child’s room at one time: 7

Times I aggravated child because I asked about his schedule: 15

Times he knew or would tell me his schedule when I asked: 0

Number of times he thought my jokes were funny: Once. After I bought him lunch at Sonic.  

Things about his life that are my business, including when he needs ride in five minutes: 0

Number of hugs it takes for me to be complete sucker to child: 1

Number of singletons still in the sock basket: approximately 50.

Best movie seen in theater: No (Chilean movie about 1988 referendum on Pinochet—more fun than it sounds.)

Miles husband has ridden on his bike in full spandex: hundreds.

Best and only play seen on Broadway with Julie and Martin: Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

Amount of cancer found on Sloan-Kettering Day of Beauty: 0

Number of hours a pest tried to flirt with me while I was obsessively reading about mythology in the Carl Jung Center’s library: 1 (felt like 100) 

His Jungian analysis of a dream I had where a bloody corkscrew was poking out of my eye and my father said, ‘you’ll never get a boy looking like THAT.’: “You’re obviously trying to individuate yourself.”

Interesting fact I learned from the guy who works at the Barnes and Noble café: “America is the best country on earth, in spite of the fact we bombed Nagasaki and Iwo Jima.”

Shortest Book read: The Testament of Mary by Colm Toibin (about 88 pages—when I found out this was our reading group book I wept with joy).

One sentence review: In old age, Mary isn’t buying this Jesus is God nonsense and would everyone please leave her the hell alone. .

Second shortest: Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag.

One sentence Review: Take all the photos you want about how war sucks, but that doesn’t mean that anyone is going to stop having wars, so there.

Number of half-read library books somewhere in this house: 5-ish??

Technological advances: Joined Twitter. Joined a MOOC. Could not complete assignment for first week, however, because I don’t know how to put words on TOP of a picture.

Older son’s reaction to fact that I don’t know how to put words on top of picture: “ha ha ha ha ha, oh Moooommm.”

Lesson I still didn’t learn: bananas and pocketbooks don’t mix.

 

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3 Responses to “April 2013 Statistics”

  1. shelleybb May 2, 2013 at 2:50 am #

    I saw that partial banana go into your pocketbook….and wondered why!

  2. fransiweinstein May 6, 2013 at 11:22 am #

    Lol. You had one crazy busy April!

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